Twilight Widower

My wife sent me to an article the other day about Robert Pattinson, and I couldn’t believe it. Robert and I have something in common. The article was all about a pic that someone had taken. I have the pic included below so you will know what I am talking about. As you can see it appears to shows Robert staring at the chest of his companion.

Now I found this very humorous, not the fact that he was staring at the girls chest but the reaction all the women are having to it. I mean come on ladies would you prefer he was staring at a guys junk. I know all of you are jealous that he wasn’t staring at your boobs, but give it time if he is like me (and 99% of the other guys out their) he will stair at them the first chance he gets. A tip to get him to stair quicker, wear a low cut shirt it makes it easier.

I have seen some posters on these sites saying that he wasn’t looking at her chest but something in front of her. Yes go ahead and believe that. I don’t want to reverse what your boyfriend/husband has accomplished in convincing you of that when he does it.

Now don’t start thinking men or pigs or anything like that. I have seen you ladies stair at Robets picutres and drool over them. I once saw a woman walk past a stand for Twilight and just stop dead and stair at the picture of Robert for a solid Minuit. I don’t want to know what was going through her mind from the look on her face. It reminded reminded me of the wolf from the looney tunes cartoon Swing Shift Cinderela.

I know that the Twilight books are made for young girls, so I wasn’t surprised to find out that most of the young girls in my family like them. What did surprise me was when I found out my aunt is in love with them, or more precisely she is in love with Edward. She is in her 60’s and is acting like a 14 year old. What is it about these books that drive women crazy? Stephenie Meyer has some kind of magic to have gotten all these people going crazy. To my astonishment, it appears that Robert Pattinson is encouraging the older women. I know we all like a good MILF, but he is taking it to the extreme . There was an interview that he did that made me laugh. He was responding to a fan. The fan said she was in her 30’s, married and had kids. She said she felt dirty because she wanted to do him. His response was “Yeah feel dirty about it, feel like it’s wrong”. It was great, I bet that woman passed out if she heard him say that. You normally only see this level of fandom in Sci-fi/comic geeks. I know because I include myself in that group. It is almost as if the cast of Twilight has reached boy band fan craziness level.

My aunt had my wife print out a picture of Robert Pattinson’s GQ photo shoot. She took it home and put it on the frig. Now my uncle says every time he goes to get in the frig he loses his appetite. My wife also wants to change our vacation plans. Instead of going to the beach and laying out in the sun for a while, she wants to go somewhere else. Can you guess where? I bet you know because your wife probably wants to go to the same place. Yes that’s right Vancouver Canada. That is where they are filming the Twilight Movies. She wants to go to the restaurants they eat at, and try to see if the can see Robert Pattinson . I told her I wouldn’t go, and she asked why. I said I don’t want to have to bail you out of jail because you tried to sexually assault Robert Pattinson. She didn’t find that very funny.

I have read all 4 Twilight books and I have a question for all the women out their. Is Edward a stalker/pedophile? Well I guess that is two questions, but I would really like to know. I mean he is around 100 years old and dating a girl that is 17. He breaks into her room at night and stares at her while she sleeps. He does this numerous times. If I where to wake up in the middle of the night and my wife was staring at me I would think she was crazy.

I asked my wife this question and she says he isn’t. So I said would you like me to treat you like Edward treats Bella. She said yes, so I started staring at her. She laughed and went to the kitchen. She saw I was still staring at her and she just started laughing and said quit it. I said I was just doing what Edward does. She said that’s not how he does it. I ask how does he do it then? I am still waiting on the answer to that question.

I have heard the response that well he is a 17 year old that has lived for 100 years. I don’t understand that argument. How can you be a 17 year old for 100 years. He has lived 100 years, so he is that old. Yes his body may be the same but his mind isn’t. If we find a way to live forever with technology does that mean a 100 year old cyborg would date a girl that is 17? His body would look 17 but his mind isn’t, but alas I am trying to use logic in a would of screaming teenagers and even louder women in their 30’s.

As many of you are experiencing, your signification other is suffering for an obsession that is irrational. I have seen obsessions and hysteria before but this is going over the top. I made this website to try to help others and myself through it troubled time. For to long have we had to suffer alone but now we have a place to raise up and shout “I WANT MY WIFE BACK”. Just don’t say it to loud, you may disturb your wifes 12th time reading Twilight.