Twilight Widower

My wife sent me to an article the other day about Robert Pattinson, and I couldn’t believe it. Robert and I have something in common. The article was all about a pic that someone had taken. I have the pic included below so you will know what I am talking about. As you can see it appears to shows Robert staring at the chest of his companion.

Now I found this very humorous, not the fact that he was staring at the girls chest but the reaction all the women are having to it. I mean come on ladies would you prefer he was staring at a guys junk. I know all of you are jealous that he wasn’t staring at your boobs, but give it time if he is like me (and 99% of the other guys out their) he will stair at them the first chance he gets. A tip to get him to stair quicker, wear a low cut shirt it makes it easier.

I have seen some posters on these sites saying that he wasn’t looking at her chest but something in front of her. Yes go ahead and believe that. I don’t want to reverse what your boyfriend/husband has accomplished in convincing you of that when he does it.

Now don’t start thinking men or pigs or anything like that. I have seen you ladies stair at Robets picutres and drool over them. I once saw a woman walk past a stand for Twilight and just stop dead and stair at the picture of Robert for a solid Minuit. I don’t want to know what was going through her mind from the look on her face. It reminded reminded me of the wolf from the looney tunes cartoon Swing Shift Cinderela.

I know that the Twilight books are made for young girls, so I wasn’t surprised to find out that most of the young girls in my family like them. What did surprise me was when I found out my aunt is in love with them, or more precisely she is in love with Edward. She is in her 60’s and is acting like a 14 year old. What is it about these books that drive women crazy? Stephenie Meyer has some kind of magic to have gotten all these people going crazy. To my astonishment, it appears that Robert Pattinson is encouraging the older women. I know we all like a good MILF, but he is taking it to the extreme . There was an interview that he did that made me laugh. He was responding to a fan. The fan said she was in her 30’s, married and had kids. She said she felt dirty because she wanted to do him. His response was “Yeah feel dirty about it, feel like it’s wrong”. It was great, I bet that woman passed out if she heard him say that. You normally only see this level of fandom in Sci-fi/comic geeks. I know because I include myself in that group. It is almost as if the cast of Twilight has reached boy band fan craziness level.

My aunt had my wife print out a picture of Robert Pattinson’s GQ photo shoot. She took it home and put it on the frig. Now my uncle says every time he goes to get in the frig he loses his appetite. My wife also wants to change our vacation plans. Instead of going to the beach and laying out in the sun for a while, she wants to go somewhere else. Can you guess where? I bet you know because your wife probably wants to go to the same place. Yes that’s right Vancouver Canada. That is where they are filming the Twilight Movies. She wants to go to the restaurants they eat at, and try to see if the can see Robert Pattinson . I told her I wouldn’t go, and she asked why. I said I don’t want to have to bail you out of jail because you tried to sexually assault Robert Pattinson. She didn’t find that very funny.